Originally Published December 2024 – Updated September 2026

Kids disagree. They argue over toys, turns, rules, personal space, which game to play, and whose idea wins. And while we can’t prevent every disagreement, we can help children learn what to do when one happens.

Conflict resolution for kids isn’t about telling children to “work it out” and expecting them to know how. Young children often need an adult to guide them through the same basic process again and again before they’re ready to navigate disagreements more independently.

At America’s Kids In Motion, we see everyday disagreements as opportunities for children to practice communicating, listening, solving problems, and working with others.

What Is Conflict Resolution for Kids?

Conflict resolution is the process of helping children work through disagreements in a constructive way. It can involve calming down, understanding the problem, explaining what they need, listening to another person, thinking of possible solutions, and deciding what to try.

For young children, those steps often need an adult’s help. Preschoolers are still developing the language and self-regulation skills they need to communicate effectively during conflicts, so educators play an important role in guiding them through these moments.

A simple conflict resolution process for kids can look like this:

1. Calm down.
2. Name the problem.
3. Let each child speak.
4. Listen to the other side.
5. Think of possible solutions.
6. Choose something to try.
7. Ask an adult for help when needed.

As children become familiar with this process, adults can gradually give them more opportunities to find their own solutions.

How to Help Kids Resolve Conflict

When kids fight over a toy or disagree during a game, it can be tempting to decide immediately who gets what. Sometimes that’s necessary, but other situations give us an opportunity to coach children through the problem instead.

Start by Helping Them Calm Down

Before asking what happened, pay attention to whether the children are ready to talk about it.

A child who is yelling, crying, grabbing, or too frustrated to listen may need a moment to settle first. Trying to solve the problem while emotions are still running high can make it difficult for children to listen and consider solutions.

Sometimes the first step toward solving a disagreement is simply giving everyone a moment before asking, “Okay, what happened?”

Help Them Name the Problem

Once everyone is ready to talk, help children understand what they’re actually disagreeing about. Instead of simply saying, “Stop fighting,” it’s helpful to identify the problem with them:

“You both want to play with the same truck.” Or, “You wanted to keep building, but she wanted to change the game.”

You can also help children put words to what they’re feeling. NAEYC recommends clearly describing children’s behavior and helping them identify emotions as part of guiding young children through conflict.

The goal is to help everyone understand the problem they’re trying to solve.

Give Each Child a Turn to Speak

Children also need an opportunity to explain what they wanted or what bothered them.

Simple “I-focused” sentence starters can help:

• “I didn’t like when…”
• “I wanted…”
• “I felt…”

Don’t worry if your little one can’t perfectly explain everything yet. Younger children may need an adult to provide some of the language or offer choices for what they could say. As they practice, you can begin asking them to come up with the words themselves.

Help Them Listen

Conflict resolution also means hearing what the other person has to say. For a young child, that doesn’t need to look like a formal active-listening lesson. Keep it simple.

You might ask: “What did you hear Maya say?” And help when necessary: “She said she was still playing with the truck.”

The point is to help children recognize that there are two experiences involved in the disagreement, even when they don’t agree with each other.

Brainstorm Possible Solutions

Now comes the problem-solving part. Ask children, “What could we try?” as you move toward resolving the conflict.

Depending on the disagreement, they might:

• Take turns
• Use a timer
• Trade toys
• Play together
• Find another material
• Change part of the game
• Fix something that was damaged

Children won’t always come up with workable ideas immediately. That’s okay. If they get stuck, offer a few choices or ask if they’d like to hear one of your ideas. 

Let Them Choose What to Try

When the situation allows, give children some ownership over the solution.

You can help guide the conversation with a question like: “Which idea do you think could work?”

Your role is to help them avoid a solution that’s unsafe or unfair, but children can often help decide what happens next.

The goal is to shift from solving every disagreement for children to helping them learn to solve problems themselves.

Know When to Step In

Not every disagreement should be left for children to work through.

An adult should become more directly involved when:

• Someone could get hurt
• A child feels unsafe
• The disagreement continues to escalate
• One child can’t participate in the conversation
• The children have tried but can’t find a workable solution

Asking for help is also a conflict resolution skill. We want children to know that they can turn to a trusted adult when a problem feels too big to solve on their own.

5 Conflict Resolution Activities for Kids

Children don’t have to be in the middle of an argument to practice these skills. In fact, conflict resolution activities for kids give them chances to practice communication and problem-solving when emotions aren’t running high.

1. Role-Play Common Conflicts

Create simple pretend disagreements based on situations children might recognize.

What could you do if two people want the same toy? What happens if your friend wants to play a different game? What could you say if someone accidentally knocks down your block tower?

Let children experiment with different responses and talk about what might happen next.

2. Let Puppets Solve Problems

Puppets can turn conflict resolution into play.

Have two characters encounter a problem and ask your child to help:

• “What happened?”
• “What could Bear say?”
• “What could they try?”

Because your child isn’t personally involved in the disagreement, they may find it easier to think about possible solutions.

3. Talk Through Story Conflicts

Books give families another easy opportunity to practice.

When characters disagree, pause before the story reveals what happens next and ask: “What do you think they could try?”

Now your child gets to become the problem-solver.

4. Play Turn-Taking Games

Board games and other turn-based activities naturally give children opportunities to practice waiting, following shared rules, and letting someone else have a turn.

And when someone doesn’t get the outcome they wanted, you have another chance to practice handling disappointment and deciding what to do next.

5. Try a Cooperative Challenge

Give children one goal they have to accomplish together. 

You could ask two children to build one tower using a shared pile of blocks. They’ll need to decide what to build, which pieces to use, and whose ideas to try.

If a disagreement comes up, that’s okay. The challenge creates an opportunity to practice the same conflict-resolution process they’ll use elsewhere.

Conflict Resolution at America’s Kids In Motion

Children naturally face social challenges as they learn and play with others. They take turns, share space, communicate ideas, work with groups, handle disappointment, and figure out what to do when another child wants something different.

At America’s Kids In Motion, we believe children learn by actively participating in experiences like these. Our educators and coaches can guide them through the everyday moments that come with learning alongside other children.

If you’re looking for preschool programs for your child in Fresno or Clovis, get in touch with America’s Kids In Motion to learn more about our approach!